The Alarm

Flash Memoir of a true life experience by Natalie Jasmine.

As I lay there I begin to open my eyes. I Deeply inhale and exhale, feeling the oxygen enter and exit my lungs. I quickly recognize that it smells like a campfire. Feeling groggy, I begin to wipe my hands over my eyes to wake myself up. Tic, toc, tic, toc as I view the seconds of my clock pass by.

Running the agenda of my day through my mind and pulling the pieces of what I can recollect together at that moment. I have barely got any sleep these last few months. Deep bags under my eyes tell the struggle of my present. I think I may have gotten maybe a few hours of sleep maybe not. I honestly can’t remember but then I look at him and see him sleeping softly finally.

He lay's there with his small, gentle stature, I know he too has struggled over the night. Anytime I hear his alarm go off I respond to him quickly to make sure he is alright. It is my sole duty and responsibility to make sure he takes every breath and if he pauses for even a moment, I gently rub his chest and feel a sigh of relief to see his chest rise.

I honestly can’t remember but then I look at him and see him sleeping softly finally. As he lay there with his small, gentle stature, I know he too has struggled over the night.

I recently heard on the news that there are fires going on in the area and it has me with high concern. That with the current inversions lend me to believe that reason for his quality of breathing is being affected. Overwhelming evidence from around the world shows that both long-term and short-term exposure to pollution at the levels of frequently encountered along the Wasatch Front can both cause and exacerbate lung disease across all ages (UPHE, 2017).

The alarm goes off again, & I don’t know if it is that time to go. I calmly put my hand on his chest, close my eyes and listen. I rub my thumb along his sternum to remind his body to breath and continue listening. Listening doesn’t just mean to listen with your ears, but to listen to what your body is telling you from what you can feel.

As his chest expands I feel a slight vibration and It sounds/feels like he is congested. The alarm goes off again, the intervals becoming quite regular now of it going off and on. As I look at my son the memory of when the doctor told me if at anytime I need to come in to please do so.

My heart breaks a little every time those alarms go off for fear of what if, but there is no time for emotions now. I prepare for my departure with my son in tow. Off to the hospital to see a respiratory specialist that can clean out his airway so he can breathe a bit easier. Even though I know he hates it, it really helps his chances for survival. I want him to have a fighting chance at this life and he unequivocally deserves that right.

Works Cited